To celebrate the latest instalment of Sparking Neurones delving into the psychological and spiritual aspects of Spider-Man I've rewritten the lyrics to the Spider-Man theme:
Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Does whatever a spider can.
Climbing walls, fighting crime. Like spiders do all the time.
Look out, here comes the Spider-Man.
All his powers, could be mystic. The idea makes fanboys go ballistic.
Can he rise from the dead? Didn't he used to be wed?
Hey, there! There goes the Spider-Man.
Why is his life so tragic? Maybe the spider's his totem?
Could it be to do with magic? And has he got a super-powered scrotum?
Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Friendly neighbourhood, Spider-Man.
His webbed mask lends him power. Stops him being a wallflower.
Look out, here comes the Spider-Man.
Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Friendly neighbourhood, Spider-Man.
His webbed mask lends him power. Stops him being a wallflower.
Read about him in this column. I wonder why he moves like Gollum?
You'll love the Spider-Man!
The Teeming Brain head honcho Matt Cardin suggested a Lovecraftian version of the song which led me to mangle the lyrics even more:
Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Does whatever a spider can.
If he drops his underwear. You'll get a pretty big scare.
Look out, here comes the Spider-Man.
Is it a penis or a tentacle? They look almost identical.
His willy's from another dimension. And also an SF convention.
Hey, there! There goes the Spider-Man.
I think you will find, his naughty bits look like Azathoth.
How did this idiot god go blind? It wasn't through reading Isaac Asimov.
Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Friendly neighbourhood, Spider-Man.
His haunter of the darkness, is wrinklier than Agatha Harkness.
Look out, here comes the Spider-Man.
Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Friendly neighbourhood, Spider-Man.
His haunter of the darkness, is wrinklier than Agatha Harkness.
It also looks kinda like Cthulhu. His fave from Star Trek is Mr Sulu.
Nerdy old Spiderman!
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