I've been offline for a while due to my anti-virus software telling me I had a virus. The instructions I got for removing the virus made absolutely no sense, even if the website hadn't decided to format them so that my printer chopped off the end of each sentence (printer friendly format my arse). So I had to wait for my mate Chris, who deals with all my I.T. problems, to take a look. Unfortunately it took a while for us to both be free at the same time so my computer has been lying dormant for God knows how long.
Anyway, Chris finally managed to take a look at my computer and after much effing and blinding on his part he discovered that the virus didn't actually exist, the anti-virus software was just playing silly buggers. So I could have used the computer the whole time after all and had wasted several weeks of various writing based activities for absolutely no reason whatsoever. My, how I laughed.
My mirth increased when I discovered that while I was offline my email inbox had exceeded its limit and was bouncing back anything that was sent to me. While on the one hand this has probably saved me having to delete an inordinate amount of spam it also means I don't know how many genuine emails I've lost.
So if anyone's sent me an email recently and hasn't received a reply chuck me another one and I'll try to get back to you ASAP.
Assuming my computer lets me.